6- My Letters to Brendan

I feel guide to bring here some more in relation to Philip and Brendan Nelson.

Here is my letter I send to Brendan in July 1995 after I read his article in Woman’s Day.

Hello Brendan

I hope you don’t mind me sending you this big letter. It’s a collection of 3 letters I wrote since the 21 of May. Now I felt guided again to send them all to you.

I do not intend to hurt anybody but I need to express these thoughts on paper for you to read and evaluate.
I only want to show you another point of view to consider. I wish to tell you my story and share some of my experiences.

After reading your story in the Sunday Telegraph on the 21. 5. I asked Philip’s Spirit what he thought about euthanasia?

“PEOPLE SHOULD HAVE FREEDOM TO CHOOSE HOW THEY WILL DIE

BUT OTHER PEOPLE SHOULD NOT DECIDE FOR THEM HOW THEY WILL DIE”

That was the response he gave me in answer to my question.


On the 9th of March in My dream You, Philip and I went to a beautiful beach and there was a bright gold light shining. The next day I sent a letter to Philip. While wondering if my letter would reach him in time I heard voice say: ‘You will see him and he is going to be fine”. Two hours later Philip rang and asked me to come to hospital in South port.

My dream come true two days later I went to the Gold Coast and you went there on Sunday a week later.

Philip was terrified that he may not survive the treatment that he so much wanted and believed in. He panicked and became defensive as he usually did when something was imposed on him. He wanted to rebelliously escape and to end it all displayed by his behaviour on Sunday.


When I come he said:’ I AM GOING TO HELL’. I responded with:’ I WANT LET YOU BECAUSE I’M GOING TO HEAVEN AND YOU ARE COMING WITH ME’.

I went to Philip because I wanted to be with him and help him in any way I could.

He needed ‘one-to-one’ support. Hospitals are run like army camps, and with all the rules and regulations, patients become objects fitted into the schedule of routine work, no emotions, and no love.

 I wanted to stay with him at night, to be there when he woke up, but your mother did not allow me to and used the rules and regulations as an excuse. During that night Philip fell down and bruised his back which added even more discomfort and pain.

In the morning I went to chapel to pray and read a message in the bible about speaking the truth. After breakfast Philip was upset and impatient with your mum for delay.


When she went to make a phone call, I told him not to blame her, because the doctor was not going to put him on the machine for treatment. He said’ I left it for too long”.

I explained that it wasn’t his fault. He was calm about the truth but needed to be sure and asked your mother and Carl. I heard them talking about euthanasia. When you rung, Philip asked me to talk to you about this subject. That night I had another dream about you and Philip, but I did not tell your family about this one. Maybe I’ll tell you one day.


At breakfast your mother said that you could not do it, so before you spoke to Philip I told him ‘Brendan doesn’t want to risk his position, - I understand he said.

This subject was important to Philip and he later asked the other doctor if he knew someone who would do it for him. The doctor did not hesitate and told him that he would do it for him. It was Philips best birthday present even though your TV message pleased him. He said it was nice of you to do this. He was relieved to know that he had an option if the worst were to come.

 That evening on his birthday, he sat in bed and asked me to help him select vitamins and medicines. He wanted to live like a new born. He released his protection shield from his emotions, opened his heart and wrote cards to his family.

He held me and for the first time he admitted that he loved me that I deserved to be loved and he wanted to be with me. He forgave me for being jealous of Harmony, and said that she wasn’t the friend he thought she was.


In the next two days he become stronger, more loving and relaxed. Your family said it was because of me, but it was the love and emotional support from his family and friends. Medicine treats physical conditions, but human love, support and honesty work with emotional healing which in turn can change physical well-being if desired by individual.



When I told Philip that I had to go back to Sydney he begged me to stay, but I explained that my children needed me too. On my way back to South port I had another dream of Philip and Tracey. When I returned to the hospital your mother gave me a lecture and told me that she is his mother and she comes first. Her possessive nature was taking over. I was disappointed and regretful that I left him. It was hard to understand what he was saying, but we communicated without words.


That afternoon your mother took me shopping. While she was at the chemist buying medicine, I bought Philip a bunch of pink roses. He put his whole face into the flowers and smelt them for a long time. That evening she didn’t allow me to stay with him again. I was very upset leaving him there. The next morning while I was holding his hands, I felt his thought say ‘Look, the body is not responding, so I have to go now, tell my mother that I love her. Thanks for the roses, put plenty of roses in my coffin’.


He left his body in our presence, your mother first like she wanted to be, and me last to whom he gave his love. Philip and I never had a paper saying that we were married, but by the universal law we were bonded by the love we had. I was his friend and lover and sometimes he called me ‘mum’. Many other things occurred but I have chosen not to write them here. But some strong feelings about your mother I have to express.


I know how much you love her and I respect her strong will and determination, but I didn’t like the way she manipulated, swayed people to her advantage.

Lucky for me I realised many things in that short time. It opened my eyes and helped me understand what Philip felt in his life. He was fighting for his right to choose to be accepted for his choices. She never truly accepted his choices or his friends and she told me herself that she had a problem with me. She pretended to be my friend like ‘bad wolf’ but took of her sheep skin the moment I didn’t do what she wanted.


She told me that I could not put my flowers into the coffin. I ignored her and took one of the 3 bundles I bought for him. I responded to Philips will. I don’t care for people who are not my true friends from the heart and I feel sorry for people who are greedy, possessive, domineering and dishonest. ‘Do unto others and others will do unto you in the future”. It is universal law of karma. Our future is based upon our present actions and our present is a result of our past. By pretending, we let “Philip” think that we done what he wanted but we’ll do it our way is against his freedom.

Parents do this to their children and later children abuse this power as adults. Sometimes they even think that they have right to play God, without understanding God’s love and universal law of freedom to choose.



I was inspired to write this after reading the article in the Woman’s Day (12 June)

The headline struck me:

BRENDAN NELSON”S PRIVET AGONY

MY BROTHER SAID HELP ME DIE



Philip’s spirit re-arranged the letter ‘S’ and show it to me this way:

“MY BROTHERS AID HELP ME DIE” and this way:

“MY BROTHER AIDS HELP ME DIE”

Than he said:

‘I have my picture in the paper now I want them to tell the TRUTH”.

He went on saying:

“They never listened what I said, they never truly accepted who I was. It was my pain, my suffering and my agony that was used to their advantage. That’s not on!”


Philip’s soul is highly evolved, and came into this life to learn many lessons, one of which was to have respect for life. He tried so hard to save his life. I believe that he paid his karma for perhaps committing suicide in last incarnation, when he was a racing driver.


Souls are like actors choosing to play different roles in this physical reality, human drama. If the actor plays a character that is weak, poor or stupid it is only to recognise those aspects as experiences. It is not who the actor is. Often evolved souls will come to experience hard lessons like suffering because they are strong enough to play such roles. People tend to judge actor’s roles and create karma for themselves.


Philip’s spirit is alive and is still playing here on Earth, helping those who helped him. Supporting us achieve our desires. Sometimes he shows his point of view, but allows for freedom of choice, accepting and loving unconditionally. It was important for Philip’s spirit to have this place (where he lived) while he is still attached to this Earthly reality to fulfil his desires.


That is why he helped Roy get his (Philip’s) place to live. I remember that Roy wanted to give up the fight at some stage but stronger impulses made him change his mind.

Once Philip’s spirit expressed to me that he thought you were not doing enough to help Roy, and he was upset that he may have to live at another place where Roy used to live. Finally someone got you to respond and because of your influence it helped him get back his place to live.


He as a spirit influenced the thoughts of some people to help you get the 3 votes, realising your desires. It wasn’t accidental that I send you 3 photos in last letter.

I promised to Philip in hospital to look after Roy. I do it talking to him on the phone almost every day. I have been visiting Roy every week since Philip died. Roy is trying to protect me; he doesn’t want the family to know much about me. I’m not happy about this because it creates wrong picture which is not true.

I see Roy like a father to me. We spend Easter Monday when he told me that you asked about me and he told you that he didn’t see me. I helped him move into Philip’s place. Roy invited me to see the ‘Hello Dolly’ show on his birthday. I slept on Philip’s couch that night, as I wanted to see if I would have any special dreams of Philip. I often go there because I feel Philip’s presence stronger there. I know he is there.


Philip once told me that when everybody left him, Roy was the only one who stayed and helped him. I know that Roy looked after Philip well, I seen it. Philip knew and I know that Roy deserves to be appreciated for his help and the support he gives. He opens his heart in trust to people than he regrets and feels bitter because people don’t appreciate him, so he becomes secretive and distrustful with them.


I’m learning to accept people for what they are to see positive and negative but not to judge those expressions. It is much harder to accept negativity than appreciate positive aspects in others and in ourselves.

Maybe I am naive trusting truth and good in human nature, but its part of my learning experience in life. I also had my pain and sorrow and Philip wants me to tell my story the way it was the truth. I am truthful but some people can not take the truth. For what it was or is, it’s their choice and they often shut their eyes or ears or try to run away from it.


Some people will strongly try to hide the truth but there is very special beauty and light in the truth. No matter how much you suppress, it has it’s own way to come up to the surface and shine for all to see sooner or latter.


I know that I’m not ashamed, afraid or guilty for what I did, perhaps only lately regretful that I didn’t do more and that’s my truth.


How do you stand up on this issue in your life? If you can not be honest and face truth in family matters, how can you become an honest and trustful politician? Hiding reality, showing only one side of the coin, whichever convenient, most politicians do that. Aren’t you standing for new?

I strongly advise that if you haven’t seen the ‘JFK Story” movie with Kevin Costner, watch it, as it is dedicated to those people of the future who stand up for the truth and honesty not manipulation for selfish convenience of power.


In your numerology chart, which I’m sending you, it says that: you can use your eloquence and public speaking for the pursuit of social betterment, your personal power could lead you into situations where you may abuse that power. Materialism can overcome your better judgements and you can become retaliatory and cruel, if crossed you are ready to fight. Your key words are impatience, honesty, determination and confidence. I say ‘be a lover not a fighter’. Read those numerology pages as I’m sure you will find truth and inspiration there for your future actions.


The letters ‘B’,’K’, T’ are lucky for you and associations with people who have this letter in their name are purposeful.

I included my life lesson which shows why I’m doing all this, and who I am. I find it interesting and true. I gave you a lot to read but your personal vibration shows that after your birthday you will have more time to read rest and reflect on life.

Today’s message is a reminder from my first letter:’ it’s not winning or loosing but how honestly the game is played”. I see many tests ahead of you still before higher realms decide to give you a’ Big Job’. Spiritual Elders know a design for life on Earth. Many of us choose to participate to fulfil such plan, but before we are consciously ready for such job, we are tested on our abilities in handling such responsibilities. I see that you are tested how you deal with a little issue a family affair like fulfilling Philip’s in trusted will as an executor.

If you are unable to respect and fulfil the wishes of your brother, how will you be able to handle the universal affair representing people who are cheated by big boys with lots of money and power? How you play the game will have an impact on the life in the future.


Honestly answer to yourself one question. Have you respected and fulfilled the will and job appointed by Philip and realised his wishes or have you manifested the wishes of other people you know who manipulated you to use your power in executing what was convenient for them?

Its long question so simply – Have you done what Philip wanted you to do or you have done what others told you to do?


Philip’s spirit said again-“They never listened to me when I was alive, they don’t listen to me now and did not listen to my will after I was gone, I will not stop until my will is done, and they will pay for it”. Some people think that because the physical body is gone that is the end to it, well it’s not finished yet”.


Do you honestly think that Philip’s funeral should have been paid from the gift which Philip left for Roy in his Will? There were other gifts: the motorbike and Van which legally were not excluded from being sold and money from their sale used to pay his debts.

I don’t think that Philip lied when he told some people that he sold the motorbike to you and that you owed him $3000 and that he prepaid for his funeral. You made a deal to hide this arrangement from your wife, so in the Will he wrote ‘gift”.

 I know Philip liked to have things in order. He knew he was dying for a long time and he had time to make the necessary arrangements. Except that those arrangements were not executed by other people who were greedy and possessive.

Things obtain thru manipulation will never bring luck.


Everybody knows that the law in Australia stinks. With your family knowledge of the law and politics you decided to pay for the funeral from the gift which was given to the poorest Roy.

He has chosen to be the sacrificial lamb to help you learn your lesson in honesty and responsibility.

In the future if this is how you are going to represent the population and help divide the wealth, big for rich and nothing to those who deserve it, sorry I’m not going to vote and either will many others. Your heart has to be the voice of right and wrong, not being manipulated or swayed by others for their convenience and power.


I remember when I talked to you on the phone from South port, you said to me:’ you are doing a great job there”. I said nothing to your praise, because I only did what my heart felt was right.

I’m sorry to say that I can’t praise you for what you have done with the Will. I don’t think you have done a good job there. This is my point of view which is also shared by other people.


You may think that this is not true that I’m wrong. If so then accept my apology with love and light. B


Ps. I am not your enemy I feel and call you my Brother (in law not to be). If you wish I would like to hear from you. If not, please put trust in Life beyond, it will help you greatly. Start listening to Philip, he loves you and will guide you through books or intuitive thoughts.

God bless you and your family with love & light Barbara